just realized that having a messianic complex not only hinders me from seeing reality as it is but it also hinders me to do what i want to do. this is because i tend to look at the big picture and get scared... i always think of my future self, the visions, what i want to be that i start to question whether what i am about to do is part of God's plan, whether i should be here or there... and since i cannot measure how finite and amazing His plan is, i am never certain...
moreover, i never lived in the present. im always thinking of my past, of my future that i forget to gage my present. simple questions i could never answer. am i crushing on him? do i want to be there? what am i suppose to do now?
i guess... looking out for the future is not such a good plan. good thing He is there to take of it.. finally... IM LETTING GO.
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